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She told me that he was a well-known stud and that he had a reputation for getting with a lot of girls. She told me to be careful and that she knew something like this might happen, so she'd put condoms and lube in my purse for just the occasion. “What?” I exclaimed. “Condoms and lube, what for?” I demanded to know. “For sex, silly,” Jillian replied as if I were a five-year-old. “Sex?” I asked, as I gulped in nervousness. “Yes, it would hurt a lot if you didn’t have lube; there’s kind of only one option for you if you end up having sex,” Jillian explained, rather matter-of-factly. “Jillian, first of all, I’ve never done it. Second of all, how would you even know if I wanted to do it? Third of all, third of all, he’s going to find out that I’m actually a guy and then I’m going to be in trouble,” I exclaimed, now exasperated as to how Jillian could be so naïve. “Relax, Cynthia – when he takes you up to his room and after you make out with him for awhile and he seems like he is going. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.”The two sat sipping in silence. A little while later, a young man sat down on the other side of the old pilot and asked: “Are you a real pilot?”He replied, “I always thought I was, but I just found out I’m a lesbian.”Forwarded compliments of John A. By Jeff Foxworthy:If plastic water bottles are okay, but plastic bags are banned, — you might live in a nation (state) that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.WE DO LIVE IN SUCH A DUMB COUNTRY!!If you can get arrested for hunting or fishing without a license, but not for entering and remaining in the country illegally — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.If you have to get your parents’ permission to go on a field trip or to take an aspirin in school, but not to get an abortion — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.If you MUST show your identification to board an airplane, cash a check, buy.
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